A friend of mine once asked me, “Why do Luos call everything a resort? Everything is a resort; there’s no hotel in Luoland.” That really tickled me when I recently patronised Attella in Kisumu’s Dunga Beach.
It’s the talk of the town now, and for good reason. First, because it’s new. Second, because it’s an alternative beach establishment — er, resort — joining the few along the shoreline. Lastly, because it’s a great spot to watch the sunset as you have a drink or a meal.
A birthday party was about to go down when I was there two weeks ago. You have to admire how women throw birthday parties.
A lounge section had been decorated with balloons and ribbons and cordoned off. A big photo of the birthday girl was displayed; middle-aged, probably turning 40.
Attella is larger than I imagined, with a thicket of tables and seats clustered close together, all facing the lake. There’s a spacious outdoor section to the left, with more tables and a selfie spot. Music is party-loud — and it only gets louder as the sun sets. So if you’re the old-school type who insists on going to bars where you can “have conversations,” this might be a bit too stimulating for you.
There was a proper raucous when the birthday girl arrived, escorted by a bunch of waitresses singing and dancing to Coster Ojwang’s Wabiro. Rather dramatically, she was blindfolded and led slowly into the establishment by her best friend. It was a melee.
And when the blindfold was lifted and she saw the décor, she screamed and clutched her chest like she was having a heart attack, then dabbed at tears with the back of her finger, like in those Mexican soap operas. I loved it. I loved the theatre. A man, who I assumed was her husband, fiancé, or lover, gave her a kiss and went back to sit in his corner.
Maybe my friend was right — in Luoland, everything is a resort. Even the drama.
